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“A Little More Discretion, An Improvement Movement”

Written by Dustin Lewit

Chapter One

Sophocles sneezed alphabet soup and the crop of wheat outside laughed in unison with the wind blowing towards Delusional One in Charge of Himself.

Ring-tossed carnival game, claim a prize. “Your eyes, honey, a-gushin’ and a-gleamin’ with no equal to your beauty within.” whispers Delusional One in Charge of Himself to his girl, Sophocles.

“So, you’re sayin’ that I’m a-ugly outside? Fool, let go of me, you beastly man-parted cursed creature from the filthy Lake of Sewer Mouth!! I’ve got pepper spray, and am not afraid to use it.” warned Sophocles.

“I am sorry for getting off track with my attraction train. I will not proceed to fondle your female flower. What are those mountains on your chest?” asked Delusional One.

“Titties. Wanna take your man-parted creature and crash it into these mountains, though, don’t you?” winked Sophocles, tryin’ to act all sexy and succeeding. It kind of came off as perverse.

“But you just said that you have that peppery spray stuff.” said Delusional One in Charge of Himself.

“Yeah, only if you actually attempt to do what I just said you could do seductively. I shan’t lead you on.” said Sophocles. “Now scram, split, get the fuck out of my house. Fuck me first!!”

Laughter erupted from Sophocles as Delusional One was hanging his head, crying from shame by being sexually inadequate, returned to his home too hard on himself (no pun intended) near Lake Sewer Mouth.

“Sex is to be between two consenting adults and should be viewed as an act of love. Performed in private.” Delusional One said to himself, now in front of his domicile.

In this universe, though, chaos shall remain concealed in 2018s trash can. Oh, you haven’t heard the story of the 2018 and 2019 transition of voice in these writings? Here now, hear now!!

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